Wednesday, April 6, 2011

Before You Reunite With Ex Boyfriend Consider 3 Prequalify Factors

Vector image of two human figures with hands i...Image via WikipediaSeriously? Are you going to consider reuniting with your ex boyfriend? The idea seems quite exciting, doesn't it. Especially when both of you are recalling the good times you shared together. But hold the phone, you should definitely do some serious thinking before you decide to make that reunion.

Couples do successfully reunite and go on to have a very strong relationship after a breakup. However, other couples get back together for the wrong reasons. If you don't deal with and resolve the issues that led to the breakup of the relationship in the first place, then who's to say those issues won't resurface. It's right for you to want your rejuvenated relationship to be a success.

Look at these 3 prequalify factors for a lasting marital relationship, why not take the time to consider the following:

Heal old wounds

There was a reason, maybe several reasons why you and your lover broke up in the first place, correct? If so, has the issue or issues been resolved? If not, it is most likely that your relationship will fail again. This is a cold-hard fact but a true fact nun-the-less. You and your boyfriend must find a way to either deal with the problems that led to the breakup or you must jointly decide that the issues are no longer conflicts. Is it enough to simply have regrets about the relationship and how it ended? I think not, certain things must change and it is up to each of you to decide in agreement on which things will change.


Let loose of old expectations

Let's assume that you and your boyfriend decide to give the relationship another effort, you must treat it as a new relationship. Not as an extension of the old one. No, this doesn’t mean that you need to completely start from scratch. However, you will have to rebuild trust and friendship. You should both reassess your goals as a couple and work on creating a new life together, which will take tremendous dedication.

Don’t let emotions decide the reuniting question

Of course it can be a thrill to talk again with your ex again and you both may feel the euphoria of falling for each other once again. Yet allowing this feeling of being emotionally aroused to determine whether you and your boyfriend get back together could be a mistake. You need to think rationally about how a new relationship will be... without letting a flood of emotion overcome you. By the same token, when making decisions about the new beginning of the relationship, it is best to do so calmly, rationalize your thoughts with sound reason. In other words, if you allow emotions to cloud your judgment, you may come to regret it later on.

So, you really want to get back together with your boyfriend. Well, make sure that you and he are both ready for another try at a long lasting relationship. How can this be done, you ask? Make a list of  "do's and do nots", a list that both of you can agree with. Make it a binding contract just between you and him. By doing so, you could wind up saving yourself a great deal of heartache, because when all the pluses and minuses are out in the open or wrote down, it is easy to determine (for each partner) whether or not this relationship will take off and fly, amen?

Sure, it's easy to believe that your x boyfriend has changed because of your great desire to reunite with him. However, you won't know until you see proof of evidence. In other words, a positive change in his behavior towards you. If you have not or do not see any proof, you are setting yourself up for failure. Instead, set yourself up for success by being honest with your boyfriend and make sure the two of you do not follow the same path that led to your first breakup.

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