Monday, December 19, 2011

Reuniting With Your Ex After a Break Up

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Its not hopeless

Everything seems hopeless after a break up, it seems as though you'll never make it through another day. Yet, somewhere in the back of your mind, a little voice keeps asking how to reunite with your ex. It is not as hopeless as it may seem, take comfort in the fact that the vast majority of broken relationships can be put back together. However, you have to be willing to do whatever it takes, are you willing?

Just about everyone you know is going to start offering advice on how to reunite with your girlfriend / boyfriend. Most of that advice will be absolutely useless. A small portion of it could end up doing more harm than good and some will be helpful.

So, how does one tell which advice is worth following and which isn't? The answer is quite simple, look at the kind of relationship the person offering the advice has with their spouse or partner. If they constantly have problems with their partner or go through relationships like kids go through candy, then you can safely ignore their advice, no matter how well-intentioned it may be.

However, if the person has been happily involved with the same person for many years, then it stands to reason that they are doing something right and their advice is worth minding.

Your first instinct after a break up may be to go running back to your ex, in the hopes that you can successfully beg or plead for them to take you back. That rarely works. Even if it does, you'll be at a disadvantage in the relationship. Operating from a point of weakness is the disadvantage. Strength and confidence is what you're going to need in order to effectively pursuit reuniting with a girlfriend / boyfriend.

Take a Break, Reduce the Drama ...

Resist the temptation to go to your ex right away. A much better thing to do is wait for a while, maybe as much as a month or two, before contacting your ex. You both need time away from each other to sort things out on your own and to calm down.

While you are taking a break from each other you should try to figure out exactly what led to your break up. That means getting to the root cause. Figuring out the symptoms is easy but figuring out the cause of those symptoms can be difficult. As you're digging you may come across some inner convictions, which will make you uncomfortable. Don't worry, because that's actually a sign that you are moving closer to where you need to be. Stick with it and keep trying to discover what really went wrong. You'll eventually have to confirm your findings by talking with your ex, get their point of view on the root cause of the break up. Only then will you gain the ability to move towards reuniting with your ex.

After you discover the problem, the next step of how to reunite with your ex is to come up with ideas on how to solve those problems. At this point you only have a few basic choices, forgive, forget or confront. The severity of the problem and how much control you have over it will help you determine which course of action is best.

Are ready to get in touch with your ex again? Stay calm and don't overdo it. Reuniting with your ex is a matter of using sound advice and sticking to it. We as human beings have the gift of reason, use it wisely.


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